when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
