he told me I talked like a deaf person
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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