No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
