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So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
you had me at cake vodka
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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