Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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