Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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