Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
