oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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