It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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