Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Too much gin, very little bucket
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
