I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize