check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
