We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
