I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize