I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
