theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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