I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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