Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
