end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
