I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
