Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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