remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
