Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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