so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
