We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
