not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
