Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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