Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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