is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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