when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i think i have herpe
just one?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
