Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
