maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize