you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
