We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
