I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
