The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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