She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
