Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize