omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
