i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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