i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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