so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
