so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
