I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
