Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize