He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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