I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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