Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
