just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
