Whod you bang
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
