she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
