lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize