If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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