So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
