respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
