I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize