I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize