can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
