OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
